Bradley Cooper and Ryan Reynolds Are Moving to San Francisco Together

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And they’re bringing two older men with them. also today: 3D war movies are the most reverential of 3D movies, some funny Emmys reporting, and that SNL news that’s been all over.

Bradley Cooper and Ryan Reynolds — who are essentially the same person, just one is cold (Reynolds) and one is heat (Bradley Cooper) — have signed up to star in an action picture about two men living in San Francisco. Yes. It’s like Full House, only less kinky. Well, actually it might be kinda kinky. They team up with old men! It’s called Tender Loins. Well, that’s just my working title. It’s actually about cops partnering with their dads, retired cops, to stop crimes. It’s written by Sheldon Turner, who wrote Up in the Air. Aha. Isn’t that exactly what you thought when watching Up in the Air? “This is wistful and slick. I’d like to see a wistful and slick action movie from this guy.” That’s usually what I think. Well, I think that after I think “I’d like to see a wistful and slick gay erotic San Francisco adventure from this guy.” [THR]

Warner Bros. has purchased a movie pitch from Bruce McKenna (who did The Pacific) about the famous Battle of Midway, the immense WWII naval and air battle that helped turn the tide of the Pacific campaign. It killed 2,300 people and whatnot, but really what’s important about this movie is that it’s going to be in 3D!!!! Isn’t that great, greatest generation?? your shit is now gonna be in the third dimension. the carnage of war is much carnageier when it’s In your Face. plus, funny glasses are really the best way to gravely commemorate anything. Wootz. [Variety]

John Woo (Windtalkers: the Legend of Adam Beach’s Career) is doing his own WWII aviation picture, this one called Flying Tigers, about the 14th Air Force teaming up with a buncha Chinese pilots to take on the soldiers of the Rising Sun. the whole thing is going to be in IMAX because, again, the best way to honor the troops and airmen is through big flashing in-ya-face imagery. In reality, the only military types that should be in your face are seamen. [Deadline]

This is old news, but we missed it on Friday and now it’s everywhere so here it is. Saturday Night Live has found three new cast members, one girl and two boys. They are Paul Brittain, Taran Killam, and Vanessa Bayer. Brittain and Bayer are Chicago comedy nerds, while Killam has been hoofing it out in LA for a while, doing things with bill “Srubbles” Lawrence. Killam was supposed to be in a show this fall, the congressional sitcom Freshmen, but it didn’t kept picked up. So that’s that. three new white folks to make ya chuckle as you doze on the couch and spill wine on your pants. or as you watch it DVR’d the next day, dozing and spilling cheese sauce on your pants. have you guys figured out that when I say “you”, I’m talking about ME? You haven’t? OK, good. I’m talking about you. [Comic's Comic]

Aha! more 3D! this time it sorrrt of makes more sense, given that it’s a kids movie. The Nutcracker 3D has found a distributor, so it will be Russian-dancing into a theater near you this Thanksgiving. Nathan Lane plays Uncle Albert, so, y’know, run don’t walk. plus there’s Elle Fanning and the whole thing was shot on location in Budapest. But that’s not the best news. the best news is: Tim Rice wrote additional songs for the damn thing, as a supplement to the Tchaikovsky music. Yes! A whole thing based around a piece of music apparently doesn’t have enough music, so bring in the Lion King guy. I’m really excited for “Hakuna Ma Walnuts” and “Can You Feel the Plum Sugar Tonight?”. They’re going to be marvelous. [Deadline]

Haha, here’s an awkward, sad tidbit from Emmys Ground Zero. Apparently NBC was broadcasting their red carpet coverage in the actual theater, so toward the end when they started talking about dress “misses”, a lot of the people with bad dresses were in the theater already, watching. Ha ha! that is such a chin-on-hand, awwww shucks kind of sad thing. “Awww fiddletoots. They doesn’t like mah potater sack.” Wump wump. “Billy Bush don’t like me fancyslacks. Cinnamon and sugarsnaps.” Nicely done, Emmys producers. way to just make people feel bad for the most important reason ever, fashion. It’s one thing to talk about it when they’re not around, but to just be straight up “Here, sit and watch us criticize you,” is terrific. “Ohhh fingernubs. Nate Berkus sure didn’t take to mah stompin’ gown. Guess I’d better just go shuck wheat.” [The Wrap]

Send an email to Richard Lawson, the author of this post, at richardl@gawker.com.

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